Proverbs 16:32 – ‘He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.’ – (NKJV)
POISE is something to be admired, to be desired and to be pursued. Poise is that element you see in precious few people that keep them composed in every situation, both light and demanding. It is the ability to think on ones feet and still be as courteous and self-controlled as one is required to be. It places people under the flow of your influence and subtly dictates what the prevailing atmosphere should be.
Poise is described in the dictionary as “Great coolness and composure under strain” - (Wordweb). Another definition by D. Stark is that “Poise is a power derived from the mastery of self”. For instance, while everyone else is screaming accusations over the top of your head you answer with self-detached reason and great composure. Not being subject to the emotions of others or even of yourself and staying focused on the vital matter at hand; being courteous and even understanding of your critics put them to shame and subjection. The self-detachment doesn’t mean that you are inhuman or indifferent but that you rise above provocation and strong feeling to be able to perceive the crux of a problem and address it matter-of-factly. Some of the advantages of poise, especially those in leadership positions and those aspiring to master themselves and situations are
To wield positive influence
To get your message across clearly, precisely and with authority
To be solution-oriented
To be perceptive
To be in control of one’s self thereby taking charge of chaotic or uncomfortable situations, etc.
From the above, it’s clear that poise is really all about the individual and his mastery of self. Most people are sensual beings and highly predictable; a little provocation here and sometimes a particular word or phrase is capable of pushing them into a rage such that a lifetime’s work can be destroyed in a moment of self-indulgence (for this is what is). Emotions, especially, get in the way of the delivery of a message. But a message should not only be heard but understood. There is very little likelihood of convincing or exhorting if a message cannot be understood amidst the rant and tantrum of an underdeveloped adult. To attain poise therefore, one must cultivate an attitude and lifestyle of self-control.
Cultivating Poise
Breathing deeply to calm an erratic pulse, gently and practically restoring your heart to its steady rhythm. Further from being just a short respite, the very act of being still for a moment and concentrating on the exercise at hand compels your thought pace to slow down and in return puts you in a state where you can rise above demanding emotions.
Staying In The Sane Zone
Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath: but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (NKJV)
Anytime I remember this scene, I am still awed. The scene is a meeting held in a boardroom. The room was embarrassingly loud with the raucous and uncontained laughter of men and women in response to a belittling jest that was suspiciously not thought through. The recipient sat still with a slight smile on his lips, unresponsive to careless, provocative questions thrown in for good measure. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, it was not to raise his voice above theirs but to quietly put his accusers in their place in the most noble and courteous of fashions that it established his status as being undeniably – without contest, far above! His gaze was both authoritative and mildly amused. Every voice was hushed and every posture leaned toward him for he spoke in a tone barely above a whisper. He had turned the meeting completely around and under his authority. I believe this example clearly explains what staying in the sane zone implies.
Decorum And Etiquette.
Proverbs 22:11 ‘He who loves purity of heart and has grace on his lips, the king will be his friend’ (NKJV)
It is important to make a conscious decision to keep a good attitude. Being well-mannered and gentle should not be dependent on other people’s etiquette or lack of it. I admit, some people really do not deserve to be treated with courtesy or respect, but of what value is it then if you are only courteous to those deserving it? We ought to be above certain provocations; above in a manner that no one can make us angry and no one can make us lose control of ourselves. Well, you might say that little niceties have no significant impact on situations where a greater response is required. However, consider this: you cannot give anything more than what you already have within you when demanding or light situations call upon you. Moreover, it is those seemingly minor situations that indeed build your character for if one is faithful in little he will be faithful in much. (Consider Luke 17:19)
Image and Etiquette addresses general perceptions, societal norms and expectations and personal expressions with the goal of cultivating social graces, suavity and a dignified presence for interpersonal relationships. If you have questions on Image and Etiquette please send them to askpamela@regalgraces.com or SMS 08038240870. Pamela also covers Online Correspondence Courses, Workshops and Keynote speeches on Corporate Image and Etiquette, and manages Perfect Healthlife Wellness Center. For online correspondence courses email info@regalgraces.com with the title “Online Course (Saturday Guardian)” for our promotional price.
culled from The Guardian Newspaper
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